Taking the Dirt Road

You've heard the John Muir quote, "of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt."

The older I get, the more I have tried to abide by this sage advice.

On my journey through life, there have been some pretty big bumps. Hell, sometimes the road just blew up. Divorce, illnesses, heartbreak. All the big ones  I've started over more times than I cared to, but usually things have worked out pretty well. 

Everyone has tough times and ways of surviving the chaos of life's challenges. For me, it is writing. I have been journaling off and on since I was in high school. As I look over the last ten years of my writings, the happiest entries are those of time spent with my two beautiful daughters

Peppered throughout the pages were also favorite quotes that inspired.

"Life is a journey. It hurts too much." -- from the film 'Garden State'

The written words of others energize me. Music does as well. During some of my darkest times, they both have lifted me up.  My memory has gotten so heavy I can't think straight. So writing those memories down helps.

And reading them later on, I realize I have survived much and am still standing. Even after the blast in the road.

Joni Mitchell once said, "Bad fortune changed the course of my destiny."

So what if my destiny changes. My road blows up. I've decided to take the dirt path. The scenery is better and the ground feels much better beneath my feet.

Jada with some of my journals

I wanted to buy a mumu

I was in Target recently with my daughter. She needed some things so I tagged along. I don't shop much and I was amazed at all the neat merchandise they had to offer. While I was waiting near the back of the store at the changing rooms, I saw a rack of Hawaiian printed mumus. I went over and grabbed one off the rack. As I held it up to me and it grazed my feet, I could just hear the seagulls and smell the salt air. I must have looked a little crazy to the sales lady.

Mumus, I always thought, were typically worn by older ladies. I remember my aunts wearing them. They looked so comfortable and breezy. You really didn't have to think much about what to wear just throw on the mumu.

As I hung the item back on the rack, I suddenly realized that I am in the mumu-wearing age group! Crap, when did that happen! Surely not. The garments were at the back of the store and had not yet been placed in the department they belonged. I didn't stick around long enough to find out where they    put them.

It's been a rough 3 years. Fighting cancer is hard. It has been a tough opponent but I am not giving up! Every time I get another diagnosis, I just say tell me when surgery is and cut it out!  This latest surgery kind of threw me but I got my bearings again, not to mention a damn good surgeon.

No, cancer is not for the faint of heart. But I believe whenever it comes knocking, that patient will discover strength they never knew they had and find the will to persevere. Because on the other side of recovery is survival. And after survival, is living the rest of your life and accomplishing the things you always wanted to do.

Like wearing a mumu.

Let's Try This Again

It's been awhile since I last wrote. I got a little side-tracked with a few more cancer surgeries and crap involving cancer. Ugh. Oh well. Whatever. I'm still here and that's what counts, right?

So I thought I would sweep off the dust and spiderwebs, and try this blog thing one more time. 

Just random thoughts from a crazy lady.

Sometimes, I measure time by television seasons. For instance, Grey's Anatomy is in Season 12. Twelve years ago I was living in Mooresville, unhappy, feeling like nothing was ever going to be different. Mer and Der were in a dark and twisty space and so was I. Now, Der is out of the pic and Mer is moving forward, just as she always has, like a badass. 

I'm doing the same!